LAST night at a wedding I had to raise a toast, and as you know raising a toast doesn’t end with just glasses being raised and ‘cheers’ being said, even though the emcee Johnelvis did a great job, by whispering that I needed to say ‘cheers’ at the end of my speech, and not, ‘dare’ as he felt I was going to do, but ‘cheer’s I said, and to a couple who did a dare required a standing ovation!
A couple, who in today’s atmosphere of hate, dared break the communal divide and decided that their love for each other was greater than one being from one religious community and the other from another. Love can do such things. Love can smoothen the roughness of distrust, can open the eyes of suspicion and can bring about rejoicing.
And it was lucky me, given this opportunity to raise a toast, which everyone in my country should be raising their glasses to, “To Love!” But I had to bring in DARE: A different DARE! “Stretch the word DARE I said right across the entrance of this hotel, and let the word light itself in your minds. The first letter D is for being DAFT in your marriage. Keep the silliness going, the funny things you say to each other, the fun and laughter. Be Daft with each other. Be stupid. Don’t let the bonds of marriage take away the laughter of love.
The second letter A, I said, is to ASK! Ask each other for help. Let the other know that each of you is vulnerable, and needs the others aid. You don’t have to show your strength through your own muscle, show your strength through showing your partner, you need his or hers. ASK.
R, I said, the third letter of DARE is to show RESTRAINT. Yes, show restraint in your fights, and oh yes, there are gonna be fights, but fight FAIR. Make rules, and even as I say it, I remember Neil Diamond singing, “Angry word spoken in haste, such a waste of two lives!” Yes, restrain yourself from hurtful words in a fight. And the last letter of DARE, is E, which is to EMPOWER each other. AS you build each other up, the marriage grows stronger, and I told the gathering of my closest friend a writer, who empowered his wife to also become one, and finally they also brought out a book of poems together. That is building each other up.
And let God come into your lives and let Him empower you. I raised my glass as the emcee whispered ‘cheers,’ and I did the same, though the word that nearly came out was DARE! Not just young couple, but into all your married lives, may DARE make it’s presence..!
