WE live in a world that glorifies overachievement, where kids are no longer just kids, but mini ‘Einsteins’ who need to outshine everyone else. It’s what I like to call the Perfectionist Overachiever Syndrome. While it may seem impressive on the surface, it often comes with a hefty price tag – our child’s well-being.
When we compare our child to these exam overachievers, we inadvertently set unrealistic expectations because these children often have an intelligence quotient (IQ) that is higher than normal and little to no hobbies or extracurricular activities. They are already under pressure regarding marks, grades, etc., and this comparison only adds to this pressure. It creates an unhealthy environment where the child feels a constant race to be the best and often ends up thinking they can never be good enough.
Constantly comparing children to these overachievers can rapidly erode their self-esteem. They start questioning their abilities, feeling like failures because they aren’t earning perfect grades. Moreover, it breaks trust between parents and children and sends the message that a child is not good enough or is a disappointment. This can lead to fear, insecurity, distance, rebellion, secrets, lies, and hinder their emotional growth.
Remember, grades aren’t the only measure of success, and it’s crucial to reinforce this to our child. We all want our children to succeed in life, but it’s equally important to prioritize their emotional wellbeing. By obsessing over exam results, we risk neglecting their mental health. Remember, a happy and mentally healthy child is more likely to thrive academically in the long run.
As a nation, we are quick to walk in the footsteps of other nations to emulate their successes, but we unfortunately fail to learn from their mistakes. While countries like Japan and Korea have undoubtedly achieved remarkable success in various aspects, it’s crucial to acknowledge the shadows that lurk behind their prosperity. During the last school year, Japan recorded 415 suicides among schoolchildren aged 6 to 18, the highest number since records began in 1974. Factors such as family problems, bad school results, and relationships with other children were identified as contributors to these tragic incidents.
Therefore, instead of focusing solely on achieving grades, let’s prioritize fostering a healthy learning environment for our child. Let’s encourage their curiosity, support their passions and let them explore different areas of interest. We should help them develop skills that go beyond academics, such as problem-solving, creativity and empathy. After all, these are the qualities that will truly set them up for success in life. Remember, our child’s worth is not defined by their grades alone.
By avoiding comparisons and prioritizing their holistic wellbeing, we can ensure that they grow up to be confident and well-rounded individuals. Let’s bid adieu and go forth in a quest to be better parents, focusing on what truly matters. Let the overachievers overachieve, while our children thrive in their own unique ways!”
—The writer occasionally contributes to the national press.
