Reservations for all . . !

18

 

WITH so many advantages for those who claim reservations in our country, many forward class citizens are trying to certify themselves as backward and day is coming when the whole nation may be known as a reserved country!

The philosopher cum astrologer cum godman rubbed his hands with glee and ghee while smiling at his enlightened following. “This new move on the part of the elitist forward bloc to step back and become part of the great reservations bloc show the rest of the world our truly ancient laidback culture. Instead of wasting time and effort like the west, striving stupidly to gain entry into Fortune 500, we want only recognition as poor and down trodden. Instead of showing the world we are a superior power we proudly proclaim our backward status with pride.” He smiled with glee and licked the ghee from his sticky fingers.

Outside a palatial house, in a posh residential area, a smiling father got out of his Mercedes and walked into the room where his son was studying for his medical entrance test. “Go out and play,” he told his son, embracing him. “I have been granted reservation status. You are now part of a special category. Your seat is reserved, so is your job, your future is booked. Here go and spend this money I have saved, with your friends. You are now part of a chosen breed. Burn those books. You will not need them anymore.”

The principal of an engineering college looked at the pretty young lady secretary in his office with relief. “I will now have lots of time for you,” he said lecherously, “No more will I have to segregate admissions into reserved seats for special categories, all students have become one huge reserved backyard. Come over here, I want you to be a little forward with me today!” A parishioner grinned at his priest, “Good morning father,” he told the priest, “We should have a morcha to see we will also get reservations certificates as a community!” The poor priest wondered what his parishioner was aiming at, but soon realised as the man continued, “Then father, those certificates can be buried with us and we can claim reservations in heaven!”

But at the UN, the Secretary General looked at the country’s envoy with consternation, “You are asking for permanent representation in the Security Council?” he asked. The Indian envoy nodded his head affirmatively and gave him a piece of paper. The secretary general looked at the paper and then threw it away. “We have no special reservation policies,” he said. The country’s envoy rang his boss who looked at his PA with despair and whispered “What do we do with a whole nation of reserved class certified holders, if we are not recognised outside?”

 

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