WITH Rahul’s name again being proposed to lead the Congress, most everyone feel it is time Rahul has a wife campaigning by his side. I decided in my imagination to visit the party headquarters.“We have decided to tackle this problem head on,” said a party worker grimly, “and have assigned a young team of workers to work on a suitable ad to be placed in matrimonial websites, newspapers and even on posters asking for a marriage partner. You may meet the team now if you wish and give your valuable suggestions!”
“What have you written so far?” I asked. ‘Wanted Italian Bride’ read the assigned party worker, from his pad. “Italian?” I asked, “what’s wrong with a desi bride?” “Statistics show Indian marrying foreigner have greater chance of winning election,” said the worker, “see the case of Rajeev and Sanjay, Maneka is still a nobody!” “I think we’ve had enough of Italians,” I suggested helpfully. “Okay make it British!” said another party worker placing a Congress cap on my head. “Wanted British bride,” read the worker, “possessing steady shoulders, hardy hands, arty arms, fabulous fingers!” “Whoa! Whoa!” I shouted, “What’s all this about? You want a bride or a choir conductor? Why such emphasis on her hands?”
“The effectiveness of good political wife is good ‘hand wave’.” explained a party worker to me loftily, “Remember Sonia wave, Priyanka wave? Why even Indira wave! Wife wave well, we get vote! Also, good hand makes a good hugger. Today hugging is our national symbol!”
“What else?” I asked. “Someone who has watched all Ekta Kapoor serials!” “You want a bride who watches Ekta serials?” I asked incredulously. “That is a must,” said the party worker stubbornly. “All of us agree.” “Why?” I whispered.
“How else she will know about saas- bahu relationship? How else she will adjust to her future mother in law? Adjusting to Soniaji is paramount importance! Remember she will have competition from seasoned Robert Vadra!”
“Why don’t you read out what you have written till now,” I said quickly. “Wanted English bride, with steady shoulder, hardy hand, arty arm and fabulous finger, who spend whole day watching Ekta Kapoor serial. Please contact…. “Rahul!” I completed.
“No, no!” “Then whose name?” “So niaji of course. Just like she chose Manmohanji for PM, Madam will choose her daughter- in- law for herself!” “I don’t know if this marriage will work for them!” I said worriedly.
“But it will work for us!” said a Congress worker gleefully, “Like now they are using surgical-strike to win election, we will use the Great Indian Wedding to get vote!” Luckily it is only my imagination, working overtime..!