Azka Soban
IMAGINE waking up most days ignorant of your own identity, mental stress drowning you in infinite spirals of darkness and zoning out in the middle of conversations. This scenario may not be a normal happening in life of a normal person but yes, that’s what most people with personality disorder experience every day. The mind of a person with symptoms of personality disorder works entirely differently than the mind of an average person.
He or she thinks, feels and perceives things in a totally different dimension than that of a normal human being. In this perspective, most common symptoms include erratic mood swings and changes, unhealthy behavior, self-injury and suicidal thoughts. Though these personality disorders are common in our society, but somehow they remain in-cognitive and less talked about stratums of our discussions. This ultimately leads to lack of knowledge in their understandings and thus result in various misconceptions regarding personality disorders: While studying response of our society towards people bearing such behavior, instead of lending them empathy, we don’t waste a second in labeling them as self-obsessed. On the contrary, they are caring and loving, but due to some special symptoms, are unable to express their love. Another school of thought entails that personality disorder patients are stubborn as a mule and their stubborn bolt is not going to come lose anytime soon! Whereas in reality they really want to change themselves, and all what they just need is someone to rely on! “Personality has power to uplift, power to depress, power to curse, and power to bless.” (Paul P. Harris) While talking about the issues on psychiatric disorders, Dr. Ahmed Siddique narrated a really interesting story. He was in his final year in MBBS and the degree requisites included an internship in a psychiatric hospital. Once the president (at that time was Field Marshal Ayyub Khan) came on a round to visit the clinic. One particular patient, with personality disorder, a voluminous beard, long messy hair, overall looking like what most people would say a really dangerous person, kept eying the president.
The president finally came over and asked him: “So lad how are you?”. The patient looked at the president from top to bottom, raised his eyebrows, and asked: “Who are you?”. The president shockingly replied: “Me!!! I am the President of Pakistan Field Marshal Ayyub Khan!”. The patient broke into a small smile, relaxed, shrugged his shoulders and said: “You came to the right place!! I also used to say that I am the president that’s why I am here. Don’t worry you’ll get better in no time!!!”. Momina Ali, a strong and resilient woman, was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder when she was just 17 years old. Her parents said that she was different even as an infant (they just realized that a little late). Just like any other young child she threw tantrums but was very easily upset nor could she adjust to any new places.
Being strongly attached to her mother, if her mother left the room she would start screaming and wouldn’t stop until her mother picked her up. But they didn’t take her symptoms seriously considering it normal for babies.
Moving on, throughout her school years she could never adjust in the school environment. Screaming and shouting at the teachers, even running away from school had become her habit. At home she would always remain sullen, if anyone would want to start a conversation, she would go into a rage. By the time she turned 18 her behavior was out of control to the extent that she would run away from home. Her mood swings were really hard to manage and she also started having separation anxiety. One day her mother noticed scars on her arms and legs and that’s when she realized that something was seriously wrong with her daughter.
After several meetings with a psychiatrist, the psychiatrist diagnosed her with borderline personality disorder. After responding actively to her treatments, coping with her mood swings and most importantly constant support from her family, she is now in a better condition and adjusting really well. She even has made some close friends now! A tip from her experience is that bringing positivity in her overall attitude and behavior along with full emotional support from her family helped her overcome anxiety. In a society where going to a therapist is looked down upon, and considered shame against an egoistic aurora, there is a dire need to create awareness about personality and mental disorders. We need to understand that people exhibiting strange mental disorders are also part and parcel of our society and they need to contribute positively in our community networks. Acceptability of their social behaviors in our society will in turn create a very positive outcome to help them overcome their shortcomings and recover effectively. Similarly, social behavior workshops need to be established for proper diagnosis and prognosis of mental disorder functions, thus creating a foundation to help create early interference before the patient delves deep into further complications.
