My bank balance and I . . !


IT’S generally after an event, a wedding or some other occasion like a lavish holiday when I realize I’m nearly broke and my driver comes back from the bank with my passbook.

I open it with fear and trembling and rightly so, because it is not what I expected it to be.

Somehow my mental calculations of what I’d spent don’t balance the one that the banker, his teller or his clerk so conscientiously have written in my statement.
“Where did my money go?” I wonder, looking at my passbook, which has been filled and brought back to me.

My driver brings me out of my daze with another blow, I mean hasn’t he heard you don’t hit a man when he’s down, but he blurts out with a dead pan face, “Sir the bank manager said if you don’t put some money in, to maintain your minimum balance they may cancel your account!”

I shake my head, nod, and stare worriedly at the silly figures in the passbook that sneer and laugh, giggle and snigger at my fearful face.

“Stop it!” I tell them, “Where did your weightier brothers go? What did I spend my money on?” But they continue giggling at me and I cry out, “Lord! What, do I do, with my bank balance so low?” And suddenly the book slips from my hand as I hear a voice in my head say, “Look around at your balance Bob!”
I do, and look at my balance: “How’s your health my son?” “Can’t complain Lord!”

“Cancer?” “No!” “Heart attack?” “No!” “What about the family? Are they alive and healthy?” “Of course they are!” “Do you still have newspapers who accept the stuff you write?” “Yes, I do!” “Friends?” “Plenty of them!”

“Did you have your breakfast, and last night your dinner? Did you enjoy those meals?” “Okay Lord!” I say joyously, “I get the point, the balance is good, huh?” I pick up my fallen bank passbook and turn the pages, smile at figures, who’d just sneered at me, “Listen guys,” I say, “It doesn’t matter what you guys say here! It doesn’t matter you were giggling at me! Nor does it matter if the bank manager says I don’t have a minimum balance!”

“It doesn’t?” the figures shout and my driver too. “No,” I shout, “Because I know my balance is good, that I might have less than minimum in the bank but I’ve got a good healthy, wealthy balance all around me! Hooray ..!”

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