Brig Naseem Akhtar Khan (R)
FATHER’S Day celebrations, the other day, besides expression of love, affection and gratitude by the children, were also a timely reminder for parents about their increasingly important responsibilities, under the prevailing situation which is quite worrisome. While there has generally been a gradual decline in our core values and strengths, our patriotism has significantly lost its essence and corrupt practices have become a way of life. The worst of all is that our education system which should have made the mends, has itself lost its relevance. Resultantly, the onus of the responsibility has totally shifted to the parents and it would be tragic if we as parents also fail to fulfil our responsibilities. Realizing the importance of the day, I tried to carry out an exercise of self-analysis and introspection which immediately reminded me of two most important people in my life, my father and father-in-law, who with their strong vision, determination and hard work, laid the foundation for what we are today, as a family. They not only taught us how to live but let us watch them do it. Both lived an awfully hard and barrier breaking life and left pain free, regret free, satisfied and at ease….. a purposeful voyage fruitfully completed. Their hard work, motivation and perseverance made them a role model for us to follow and we are trying our best to fulfil our obligations. Losing them was a big loss but we can still feel their guiding hands on our shoulders and their footsteps to follow.
Born in a lower middle-class family, in a village in mountainous area in Azad Kashmir, my memory immediately reminded me of my father taking me to the school, holding my school bag, lifting me up on his shoulders to cross difficult terrain for nearly 4 kilometres everyday and returning back in the evening. It was probably, the beginning of a long pursuit that he had in his mind, to groom me for a better life than what he himself had gone through over the years. Sometimes, even the people with meagre resources leave their children, the richest inheritance and he was probably one of that type. With very limited financial resources in hand and a family of about nine to support, he provided us the best possible education, gave us the confidence to compete at all levels and ensured that we do not suffer from any kind of complexes at any stage. As a person with courage, determination, and kind heart, my father was always a helping hand for the entire family and the colleagues at the job, a quality that had won him a great respect in the community and the government circles. A self-sacrificing person whose total goal in life was to raise a respectable family which is trustworthy, responsible, fair and caring, and be able to make home and community, a better place to live. It was all his hard work, motivation and perseverance that today all family members, spread in almost every corner of the world, are living a comfortable, respectful and purposeful life.
My father-in law too, inherited almost similar background. Born in a lower middle-class family, he was a self-made man. His pursuits for higher education were hallmark of his life and despite financial and administrative difficulties, he was able to make a successful career for himself in the Education Department. At the time of partition of the subcontinent in 1947, he along with family migrated to Pakistan, sacrificing more than half of his extended family and everything else he possessed. He was amongst very few diehard stalwarts who worked day and night to establish an interim administrative setup to run the state machinery, especially the Department of Education. He travelled on foot throughout the state, established schools, and authored textbooks. Interestingly, he walked every mile across AJK, all by himself and created the first official map of Azad Kashmir. He motivated people to educate their children, come out of the backwardness and live a disciplined life.
With limited financial resources he too educated his children to excel in all professional fields and guided/supported his relatives to do the same. His personal guidance to me and my children was indeed a great help in grooming us into a well-knit team with a potential to add value to the society. He was a role model and will always be remembered for his strong moral values, generosity, patriotism, and his services for the family/community at large. I am at loss of words to express my appreciation and gratitude to both these gentlemen for what all they did for us. In return, we owe a great responsibility to pass on their legacy to the younger generation. I believe that under the prevailing environment, we as parents have added responsibilities to particularly focus on character-building and instil self-discipline amongst our children. This should form the base line for us to grow them, to be able to meet the challenges that we confront. The government and social societies/organisations need to play an equally effective part in educating parents about their increasingly difficult role in up-bringing their children. In a nutshell, the men behind the gun, make the show run — in this case, the fathers!
— The writer is Security Management Professional, based in the UAE.
