MANY of my close friends, are going to say, “Bob, we know times, when you’ve lost and were quite a bad loser!” Very true. I hate losing but something, I and many of us have to learn is how to lose gracefully! It’s a pretty competitive world today, but the truth is, it was a competitive world also yesterday: Nothing’s changed, fortune favours the brave, and the prize goes to the winner! Sadly what’s different is that people don’t know how to lose! Losers after a match stomp off the field! Politicians say unkind words of their winning opponent! Children bawl! Adults fume! The secret is to lose gracefully. As we grow and age our life is filled repeatedly with times when we lose. The losses are not only in games and sports, but also our homes, our loved ones in death, the loss of our youth and beauty, even some of our dreams. It seems that life presents us with a series of losses that culminate eventually with loss of life itself. The sooner we learn to cope with loss and learn from losing, the happier we become.
The lesson we need to learn is how to let go. When young our first words are ‘no’ and ‘mine.’ It is only as we grow that we let go and learn to give and get more unselfish in our thinking. This ability to lose gracefully will not only avoid triggering a heart attack, but will increase our generosity and add to our happiness. This change of attitude will turn a win-lose situation into a win-win.
In all competitive situations someone has to lose and losing can dent your self confidence and self esteem and make you feel very bitter and frustrated, but it is important not to walk away from the experience with unremittingly negative feelings. Try to learn from the situation, be honest about things you did well and things that could have been done better. Try to discover why your batting was mediocre, your political party rejected, or project bad and learn from it.
Although it might seem impossible that anything positive could come out of losing, once the initial shock and disappointment abates there are steps to take. Talk to close ones. Admit how disappointed you are – it will show you are human enough to be disappointed. Ask why it happened, and take any criticism gracefully – even if you think it is unfair. Don’t react immediately, but go away and think about everything that has been said.
Even though it’s hard to have your shortcomings pointed out, it’s the fastest way to overcome them. No-one likes being a loser. It’s okay to be angry, upset, disappointed, but it’s not okay to show our resentment and create a tantrum: Something I and hopefully we all will learn is to lose gracefully and come out a winner..!
