Living at the edge with passion sans compassion
THREE factors notably shape our lives-behaviour, character, actions. People leading a normal happy life, with no economic stresses and not facing any family issues, tend to be generally stable and consistent, soft spoken and enjoying their life.
Those who, unfortunately, are facing poverty and are under severe economic distress, tend to be aggressive, irritant, uncompromising with little or no patience. These are the signs of escapist behaviour and attitude.
We may not realize it, but overindulgence in escapist behaviours often signals a desire to escape from reality and depression.
These behaviours can vary widely but involve an unhealthy or unsustainable amount of time and money. Some escapist behaviours common among depressed men include pornography, video games, working out, gambling and sports betting, watching sports and binge-watching shows or films.
Some turn to alcohol and other drugs to cope with their depressive symptoms. Severe stress can indicate depression and wreaks havoc not only mentally but physically too. Men struggling with stress and depression might experience headache, gastrointestinal issues and other ailments.
Other physical manifestations of depression in men may include sudden or significant weight loss or gain, fatigue, and a racing heartbeat. It ultimately leads to violence, emotional stress and erratic behaviour and crime. Women, on the other hand, are more likely to experience substance use disorder once they are already depressed, men often experience this leading up to the onset of depression, meaning that substance use disorder might contribute to the likelihood of depression in men.
Women are more likely to show overt sadness and are usually more willing to discuss their emotions than men. While men with depression may open up and discuss their depression symptoms, they’re more likely to display depression-related behaviours and traits, including anger and a short temper. Unfortunately, display of anger and irritability are more socially accepted among men than women, meaning that people (including medical professionals) may fail to recognize such behaviours as indicative of depression in men.
Depression can be particularly dangerous with men because many of us don’t want to recognize that we may need help, largely because traditional masculinity ideology encourages us to limit the expression of our emotions, particularly those linked to depression. These likely factors into why women are statistically twice as likely as men to be diagnosed with depression.
Depression can be seen as two-pronged: there are signs and symptoms, and then there are coping mechanisms and other depression-influenced behaviours. Men and women can show different signs and symptoms as well as different coping mechanisms. D
epression in men is more often undiagnosed because the depression isn’t recognized, signs and symptoms are downplayed, there’s a reluctance to talk about the symptoms, and overall resistance to mental health treatment.
Men and women often share these common symptoms of depression: Extreme fatigue, difficulty sleeping or oversleeping, difficulty enjoying activities that are usually pleasurable, feelings of sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness.
On the other hand, men may experience certain problems or engage in certain problematic behaviours that could indicate depression but aren’t typically recognized as such: Overindulging in escapism, medical issues, substance use disorder, irritability and risky behaviours.
Recent happenings in our beloved country have caused alarm as far as character, patience, tolerance, compassion and respect for law is concerned.
Whatever is happening on the streets of our major cities and villages is indicative of nothing but signs and manifestations of depression.
The cold-blooded murder of a Sri Lankan national, who was working as a merchandiser for a big international brand, two months back and naked parading of three women, who were found stealing, is a big shock for a common man. Both acts need to be condemned vehemently and the guilty and perpetrators deserve exemplary punishment so that others learn a lesson.
Last month, we saw a vivid display of lack of compassion and arrogance at its peak when tourists were stranded in traffic chaos on the Roads in Murree and uncivilized ,inhuman, unbecoming attitude of the local business owners, residents, Hotel owners, taxi drivers , who preferred to let the women, children, elderly people die on the roads due to cold rather than opening their doors for the affected people.
They deliberately sky-rocketed the price of their Hotel rooms ten times to make quick money.
The attitude of the local residents who could have saved those stranded travellers, is display of extreme selfishness and complete lack of regard for human life. Can you expect it from a civilized society?
This attitude not only smacks of deep hatred for human life and our cherished values but shows extreme greed for making quick money.
In fact it has shamed us nationally and internationally, before comity of nations. Unfortunately we have seen a constant, rapid and alarming decline in our moral attitude over the last three/four decades.
The old moral values of honesty, truthfulness, concern for neighbours, human life, respect for parents and family bondage have all disappeared and greed, cheating, fraud, disrespect for elders, flouting the Law and finding short-cuts to achieve success have become common and order of the day.
Corruption has crossed all limits and is rampant every where. Indeed it is lamentable and must be forced to stop spreading.
When we see the news, we hear horrible stories of rape of years girls, beating and illegal confinement of 8-10 years old poor house maids working in the houses of rich and feudal landlords in posh localities.
Where have our etiquettes disappeared? Where has our tolerance gone? What has happened to our patience? Where has our spirit of forgiveness evaporated? Have we become morally bankrupt? We surely need a deep and thorough soul-searching to identify and pin-point the reasons for this malaise.
The one reason which spontaneously comes to the mind is deep frustration and/or sense of deprivation amongst the ordinary citizen due to increasing poverty and inequality of wealth which has driven the people to such madness.
Honesty and truthfulness which once was the guiding principle of our life has unfortunately vanished.
It has been substituted by cheating, fraud, corruption, adultery and other sins of all kinds. Patience is something which is nowhere to be seen. In a nutshell, we have forgotten and shunned the basic tenets and fundamental principles of our religion and adopted every act which our religion has prohibited.
Though there is very little the government of the day can do to correct the course unless the people reform themselves. Following the teachings of religion is our only way-out.
— The writer is former DG (Emigration) and consultant ILO, IOM.
