Go slow drivers association . . !


IN India, you can build the broadest roads, but it’s such a waste as I found out as three trucks drove abreast on a highway with my poor car unable to overtake, “I’m sure there’s a plot to keep us slow!” I thought and then imagined a ‘Go Slow Driver’s Association!’

The President of the Go Slow Drivers’ Association, a burly truck driver walked slowly to the podium to conduct the meeting as the secretary, a scrawny looking autorickshaw driver ran giggling onto the platform, “The Aims and Objects of our association,” he squeaked. “To drive as slowly on our roads and slow down any driver who tries to overtake us.”

“Thank you,” said the president of the association. “I now invite members of our association to come forward and inform us how they have managed to keep and uphold these our aims and objects during the last one week.”

The members watched in awe as a bus driver of the state transport service walked up to the podium. “Friends,” he thundered loudly like a Leyland double-decker, “There was this brand-new Honda City trying to overtake me, first from the left, then the right. I just parked the bus in the middle, making all the passengers crowd into the road. You all would have been happy to see the look on that poor fellow’s face.”

The bus driver bowed modestly as the entire hall clapped in appreciation. “Thank you Mr. Bus driver,” said the president of the association, “the way you are going, looks like you will carry away the award as the Most Outstanding Member!”

“What about me,” said a small cheeky rickshaw driver standing on his chair, “with my small three wheeler I am able to drive on three lanes at one time, confusing anyone behind me and daring them to overtake. What about an award for me!”

“Mr. Rickshawwala,” said the president beaming, “if we were to give you an award for all the valuable work you are doing, we would run out of awards. Let us instead give you a standing ovation!” “Order! Order! Shouted the truck driver president, “back to some serious business. We have the induction of a new member. Mr. Rickshawalla, will you please introduce him.”

“He needs no introduction,” said the small rickshaw driver tugging an even smaller man onto the platform. “With substandard material and bad workmanship he has been helping our association. Dear friends, Mr. Road Contractorwallah.” The applause was spontaneous and the road contractor was overwhelmed by the feelings of gratitude and thankfulness all around him.

“And now,” said the president solemnly, “since the induction of a new member is a memorable event, the beloved leader of this our association will do the needful. “Ladies and gentlemen please rise to greet our beloved leader!” The applause was deafening as Mr. Traffic Policeman walked up to the dais and took his rightful place..!