MANY of us love watching beauty pageants: And I wondered for a moment what would happen if God was the judge, mind you, the sole evaluator, referee and critic for the Miss World contest next year!
“Ladies and gentlemen,” says the compere, pointing to an empty seat, “today we have the honour and privilege of having the Almighty as our judge.” “But we can’t see Him,” complain the scantily dressed damsels as they peep from behind the curtain at the empty seat.”
“Have faith, He is there,” says the compere, as all the contestants move body, bone and behind to sashay onto the stage. “You can put your clothes on!” booms a voice that stills the hall.
“Why?” asks Miss Chile, flashing her glinting eyes. “Because I can see your beauty with your clothes on,” says God. “What about my curves?” asks Miss USA. “My bosom!” exclaims Miss India
“My lovely long legs?” asks Miss Peru seductively. “Your heart!” says God, “is all I need to see!” “What? What did God say?” ask the flustered beauty contestants. “He says He is looking at your hearts!” smiles the compere. “But that’s not part of the criteria God!” cry the beauties looking at each other in dismay.
“Whose criteria my children?” “The judges!” “I am the judge my dear girls, and I can’t think of anything more alluring, attractive and bewitching than a beautiful heart. You there near the exit!” “God! That’s the cleaning woman!” “So what?” asks the Almighty
“Look at her dress!” “Her skin! God! Just look at her skin!” “Her hair!” “Her heart! Look at her heart my children. Come on stage my dear girl. Tell them where you spent last night.” “With my neighbour’s mother!” whispers the cleaning woman, startled to have so many eyes on her. “But it isn’t question time yet!” whispers a pretty contestant. “What were you doing with your neighbour’s mother my child?” continues God ignoring the whisper.
“Looking after her while my neighbour went home from hospital and slept.” “Did you sleep my child?” “No God, the old lady in the hospital was scared and frightened, so I held her hand and comforted her through the night, and came straight to work?” “Don’t you feel sleepy my child?” “I just feel happy my Lord. The dear old lady was asleep like a baby when I left her!”
“Her heart shines! There’s your beauty queen!” whispers God getting up from His chair and leaving the hall, unknown to all. “Rise and applaud Miss World 2023!” shouts the compere into the mike, and presents her with the golden crown. The crowd stands and applauds, dazzled by true beauty that sparkles from her heart..!