Professional parents..!

AS I hear about children committing suicide or even going into depression, I remember a talk I’d given parents, at a school down the road on how to bring up children. I had asked myself that time and I still do as to how I was selected to do justice to such serious talk, and wonder whether it had anything to do with bringing up two daughters, who I have little doubt would laugh if they’d known their dad thought he’d become proficient in a subject they still considered me a dud at!
But it had made me do a lot of thinking and something I realized at the end of my research before the talk, was that there isn’t a job or profession on this earth that does not have courses, degrees and lectures to equip oneself before one starts on the job, except parenting; most of us have a baby in our arms with no knowledge how to bring it up.
So often I have heard grownups talk about the terrible childhood they have had, and when I talk to the parents of those adult children, they tell me how they invested time and money, love and affection to bring up their children, but somehow something went wrong. Obviously, there’s something that children want that parents don’t know they want: This is when I read about this little survey by “Quote Magazine” (September 1, 1985) Children from 24 countries mentioned ten qualities they wanted in parents.
Here they are: 1. They want harmony. They do not want their parents to have unresolved and destructive conflict in front of them. 2. They want love. They wish to be treated with the same affection as other children in the family. 3. They want honesty. And to be told the truth. 4. They want acceptance. They desire mutual tolerance from both parents.
5. They want their parents to like their friends. They want their friends to be welcomed in the home. 6. They want closeness. They desire comradeship with their parents. 7. They want their parents to pay attention to them and answer their questions. 8. They want consideration from their parents. They do not want to be embarrassed or punished in front of friends. 9. They want positive support. They wish for their parents to concentrate on their good points rather than their weaknesses. 10. They want consistency. They desire parents to be constant in their affections and moods.
It appears that these children want what all of us want – respect, appreciation and love. Let’s give it to them and watch them blossom, shine and grow, and tell others as they do well in life, “My parents were professionals, they knew the art of parenting..!”

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