Mine is bigger than yours..!

WITH Trump exclaiming to North Korea’s Kim Jong-un that his nuclear button is bigger than Kim’s, it’s been rumoured this has let loose a whole bunch of exaggerated comparisons, which till now’s been kept under secret wraps, with the ‘mine is bigger than yours’ syndrome only appearing when men start looking at each other a little too closely for comfort!
“My democracy is bigger than yours!” shouted the Statue of Liberty across the ocean at the Gateway of India. “Maybe,” sniggered the Gateway back, “but my British made arches are bigger than your French designed curves!”
And from Sri Lanka’s capital, a general shouted, “Our war was a bigger victory than most others!” “But our Cold War created a bigger much ado about nothing tension worldwide!” tweeted the now bosom pal administrations of Trump and Putin.
And with these furious comparisons going global it was decided to have a ‘Mine Is Bigger than Yours’ international pageant, something like your beauty queens have every year, but rightly, this event, only for men!
“What are you going to show our prime minister has, that is bigger than others?” asked a member of the press to the Indian prime minister’s assistant, “Will you be sending his Fifty-Six inch chest records for the competition? He boasted to the nation about that, didn’t he?” “Sadly, we can’t!” said his personal assistant, “We measured it and found it was twenty inches short! They verify these things at the pageant!”
“Then what else?” asked the press. “His ego!” smiled his assistant, “It’s bigger than anybody else’s in the world!” “Yeah, like anybody’s smarter than me!” tweeted the American president, “and if they think they are we’ll be stopping aid or grants or visas to them all!” And the Indians hastily removed any thought of entering their leader’s ego into the fray, though they knew he could have won hands down.
“Virat Kohli’s prowess is bigger than any cricketer in the world,” said a selector as he sat at a meeting of the International board at Lords. “But, these eese what heese wife say about hees first night after the wedding!” said a South African board member showing a picture of the cricketer in his hotel and the selector withdrew Virat’s name quickly.
The judges at the International Pageant scratched their heads and appeared a worried lot, “Looks like a one-sided competition!” they exclaimed, “Isn’t there someone with something bigger than Trump!”
“Fire and Fury!” shouted the author of the book that’s set the White House on fire, entering his book into the competition. “Not fair!” tweeted Trump as the world watched Donald shrinking, “Not fair!” he softly squealed then went silent as the judges and pageant organizers went home with no one else to judge. Not even Kim Jong who’d accidentally pressed his button and crashed his missile into his own country..!

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