I walked to the local police station and met a constable after his afternoon nap. “I believe the police are going to enforce the ban on plastic,” I said. “Of course we will,” said the policeman gleefully. “We will enforce the ban on plastics just as we are enforcing the ban on loud noise after 10 p.m.”
“But,” I said, “how can you implement these bans without the necessary checking instruments? How can you know if a loudspeaker is loud without a decibel meter or a plastic bag is less than 20 microns without the checking machinery?” “Of course we have the checking instruments,” said the constable indignantly.
“You do?” I asked. “The press and the people say that you do not have!” “Let them say what they have to say,” said the constable, “but all the policemen are equipped with the right judging machinery.” “Each of you?” I asked. “Every one of you?”
“Each and every one of us,” said the constable glibly, patting his stomach and gently easing his shirt into the waistband of his pants. “May I see those instruments?” I asked doubtfully. “Of course you may,” said the policeman, “but the best way to see them is to how we use them. Why don’t you come with us and see how effectively they work.”
“Sure,” I said. “I would love to tell the people that their police are equipped to deal with noise and the plastic bag menace.” An inspector came out into the porch and waved to the constable. “Go quickly,” he said, “there is a complaint in the market, that a big shop over there is giving all their customers plastic bags.” We cycled to the village market. “Where is your instrument to measure the bags? I asked.
“Here,” said the constable tapping his hip pocket. We arrived at the shop, parked our cycles near a lamppost and entered the shop. “Arrest him!” I shouted as the owner of the shop put a customer’s groceries into a thin plastic bag and gave it to him. “Pull out your instrument and measure the thickness of the bag!” I watched with amazement as the constable pulled out his wallet from his hip pocket and stuffed it with a wad of cash given by the shopkeeper. “The bags are okay,” said the constable leaving the shop.” They are the right thickness.” “How do you know?” I asked. “By measuring instrument says so,” said the policeman patting his stuffed wallet. “See feel it. The thicker it is, the more innocent the plastic user. It is a very good gauge that all we policeman have, and we are experts at using it?”
“What about loud music after 10 p.m.?” I asked hopelessly, “do you use the same instrument? “More of less,” said the constable. “Simple huh? You tell your readers not to worry, sound and plastic bags will be measured very effectively by us. Let me assure you. We have best measuring instruments in world..!”