Matrimonial ads..!

WITH the year nearly coming to a close and everybody turning serious, thought we could have a few laughs today reading the matrimonial requirements of different people in different trades.
Fisherman: Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish. Must have own boat with motor. Please send photograph of motorboat.
Salesman: Once in a lifetime offer to get yourself the original, genuine article. One of the most handsome and smartest bachelors around is now looking for a wife. And you could be the lucky one he chooses! Has own house, car and successful career!
Economist: I am in demand of a wife. Supply is great though my requirements are high. However the elasticity of my demands should not bear too heavy a burden upon the national interest. Mathematician: Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be numerate and understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to help further my family unit.
IT consultant: Well there is definite room for improvement in my life. The speed of my current flows of information and processes is slowing down and the injection of a wife into my life is bound to improve the efficiency. Compatibility could be an issue.
Business Man: Wife wanted for company
Politician: I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the ways we live, to harmonize the processes of life and to build upon past differences and shortcomings. I believe that we the people need someone to share our lives. To feel the joys of parenthood, and bear the social responsibilities, as we should in a civilized society…….(blah, blah and never getting to the point).
Car dealer: Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife. Should be in excellent working condition. Farmer: Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for breeding.
Lawyer: I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the post of wife after marriage. The person whom I’m looking for should be strictly – a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl, with evidence to support this view that she is a girl.
The girl should be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e. Myself. Any objections would be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in limited confidence as all liabilities are null and void in the event of failure on our part of any kind whatsoever.
Pilot: Wife required to complete my life. Please only level headed applicants. She must not have her head in the clouds, but have her feet firmly on the ground. Her heart must be in it for the long haul. And she absolutely must also be aerodynamically shaped!!
Banker: Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service. And with these ads I hope you’re all in a lighter mood now..!

Share this post

    scroll to top