Everything big..!

ACCORDING to newspaper reports, the sale of SUVs have nearly beaten the sale of other cars in the country! Some years ago I looked at the blue print of the car that lay on an automobile engineer’s table. “It looks like a second world war ambulance,” I said.
“We know our people well,” said the engineer simply. “For we Indians, big is the ultimate. Big houses, big rooms, big TVs, big cars, big everything, it doesn’t matter whether those big houses are difficult to maintain.”
“Or your big cars look like sumo wrestlers with obsolete underpowered engines,” I said. “Maybe,” said the engineer, not too happily as he went back to looking lovingly at his blue print. “The seats in this car are six inches taller than other cars,” he said proudly. “What?” I said, “You have already made all vehicles that is a couple of feet above other cars, and now you make the driver sit even higher.” “That is part of the full exercise,” said the engineer smiling. “A bigger car to make him feel superior, higher seats to make him feel taller.”
“What else?” I asked. “A horn that will tell the neighbourhood that a real man has arrived.” “And?” I asked. “Windows that will not go up in a hurry but will come down fast.” “Why? I asked. “So that he can always put his head out and shout the choiciest abuses at everybody.”
“You sure have thought of everything,” I said, looking at the engineer with new found admiration!” “Steel fenders that protrude a foot out on all sides,” said the engineer grinning, “so that all those foreign cars will keep a safe distance from him.”
“Though I’m sure he’ll try his best to get closer to them, I’m beginning to understand the type of man who will buy this car,” I said knowingly “he is a bully.” “You’ve got it,” said the engineer caressing the design again. “This is a bully’s car.” “How many of these monsters do you think you will sell in the first year,” I asked.
“More than all the other cars put together,” said the engineer matter of factly. “We have just heard that nearly ninety per cent of those who have booked these other cars are cancelling their bookings and placing orders with us.” “The car for the Indian bully,” I tell myself, “Should never have left the drawing board, because it has left too many people dead, injured or just bullied into submission.”
“Have you seen our latest car,” said the engineer unrolling a blue print, which I met him again. I fled before I went into shell shock. It was the blue print of an army tank..!
— Email: bobsbanter@gmail.com

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