THERE once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now, pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence.
The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there. A verbal wound my son is as bad as a physical one!”Well, after such a touching story isn’t our first resolve to tame our temper? Your temper is pounding. You can’t breathe. Your fists are clenched, your muscles tense, and you feel you want to scream. Sounds familiar?
As lifestyles become increasingly hectic, more and more people are short-tempered and small incidents can irritate, enrage and provoke. Anger is a defense mechanism we use when we sense that someone is encroaching upon us. Experts recommend a list of techniques that you can use to manage your anger better.
Take 10 deep breaths. It helps to release the anger knot in your stomach. Then, ask yourself the following questions:
Do I have a choice to be angry or not? Is it really worth getting so angry about? Is my anger appropriate to the situation? Am I taking this personally? Can I look at this differently?
Is there a more mature way to deal with the problem? Am I going for the bait? Do the values and priorities of other people differ from my own? Will I remember this event in three hours, three days, three months or three years?
These are just techniques and I hope they help in lessening the number of scars you leave on people, but remember dear friend when you can get past the ‘control of the temper’ stage and reach the ‘understanding the other person’ level; when you are filled with love for others which is a love that flows from a God above, then you’ll not need techniques anymore, for your love will reach out and touch and heal even those who try and provoke you to anger. Even scars left on other people by you can disappear with love..!
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