Licence, ain’t no problem sir..!

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The instructor at the driving school looked up from the road map he was trying to read. “Don’t worry sir,” he said giving me a toothy grin, “we will get you a driving license within a week.”
“Within a week,” I exclaimed, “I hardly knows the inside of a car right now.” “It doesn’t matter what you knows or don’t know,” said the instructor patiently, “you will have the necessary certificate within seven days.”
“What are the timings for my driving classes every day?” I asked. “We are not very particular,” said the instructor, “we know how much people are pressed for time, we are very understanding. If you can come for the classes well and good, if not, it doesn’t matter.”
“But how can I get a license if I don’t attend your driving classes?,” I asked quite confused. “Ah,” said the instructor with a smile. “Our boss is very well connected, his second wife’s brother’s best friend works in the licensing office and for a small fee the work is done.”
“I see,” I said without really seeing anything. “But if you have the time,” said the instructor moving a little closer towards me, “it would be good if you could attend our theory class.” “Good!” I exclaimed, “I’m glad I will learn some aspects of driving at least.” “We will have an ex-traffic police inspector to lecture you all,” said the instructor quickly. “An ex-traffic police inspector,” I said, “Sounds very impressive.”
“His lectures are always jam packed,” said the instructor happily. “Last week he spoke on how to drive past a red light without being caught and the week before he spoke on the exact amount to pay a cop if ever caught, you see people have the tendency of either paying too much or too little.” “I see,” I said uneasily. “You will benefit immensely from our driving school,” said the instructor unfolding a bundle and showing a form in front of me. “Thank you,” I said shoving the form back to him and trying to move away. “Where are you going?,” shouted the instructor running after me. “Don’t you want a license for yourself?.” “Yes I do,” I said, “but I want to learn driving.”
“Learn driving?,” asked the man in a whisper hurriedly looking around in every direction and then quickly pushing me out. “Sir, please don’t scare the other students away, I think you have come to the wrong place…..!”
—Email: bobsbanter@gmail.com