Heal yourself..!


SHE was a young girl when she had first met me, a handwriting expert, someone who could analyze and understand people’s character through reading their handwriting, but now I could see that there was a softness in her face. She had become a wife and a mother, and I asked her, “What have you learned in the last thirteen years since we last met, “I have learnt to forgive, and I teach others that forgiveness is the best healing you can do for yourself!”
We spoke, and I realized how important it was for all of us to heal ourselves by forgiving those who had done something bad to us. I remember Gladys Staines. Her husband and two sons had been burnt to death by Dara Singh. I remember meeting her years ago. I had asked her for an interview, she had looked at me and said, “I read your column and sometimes make copies and send it to my dad.”
Now she goes back to join that same dad in his eventide years. But India will never forget her. Not for the terrible, horrible loss she had to undergo in losing both husband and two sons, but in the words she uttered when she heard who the killers were. “I forgive them,” she had said, “for what they have done..!”
All the national dailies have carried her photograph; she must have made some impact with such forgiveness. Stanton who was Secretary of War under Abraham Lincoln on one occasion was very angry because an officer had failed to carry out an order, either through disobedience or from not understanding it. “I think I’ll sit down,” he said, “and give that man a piece of my mind.”
“Do so,” said Lincoln, “write it now while you have it on your mind. Make it sharp. Cut him all up.” Stanton followed Lincoln’s advice with alacrity. He wrote a most pungent and exceedingly candid rebuke and read it to Lincoln, who said, “That’s right, that’s a good one.” “Who can I send it by?” Stanton asked.
“Send it?” asked Lincoln, “send it? Why don’t send it at all. Tear it up. You’ve freed your mind and that’s all that’s necessary. Tear it up. You should never want to send such a letter. I never do..!”
Maybe we need to do likewise. Write down what has hurt us, get it out of our system, forgive whoever it is for what they have done, tear it up and throw it away forever, then, we won’t waste our whole life seeking revenge like Nazi hunter Simon Wiesenthal, but like dear Gladys Staines forgive and go on with life. Dear friends, forgive them who hurt you and heal yourself..!”
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