Encourage and compliment..!
Robert Clements
Saturday, May 07, 2011 - A question I love asking is, “Who was the strict one in your home while growing up?” And after listening to the answer I ask, “What about your other parent?”
This morning a doctor friend of mine told me about his ‘other parent’, the one who was not strict, “She used to send me notes in my lunch box while I was in medical college!” he said, “She wasn’t very educated, but those little notes were a source of great encouragement, egging me on to do well!”Yes, there’s two ways of pushing people, one is being strict and the other to encourage and build: I’m a strong believer in the power of affirming other people. One time I facetiously told an audience that I have never in my life received a standing ovation. They gave me one — and I’m here to tell you it isn’t nearly so satisfying when you have to ask for it. Nevertheless, I never underestimate the importance of positive encouragement in a life.A second-grade teacher complained that her children were spending too much time standing up and roaming around the room rather than working. Two psychologists spent several days at the back of the room with stopwatches observing the behavior of the children and the teacher. Every ten seconds they noted how many children were out of their seats. They counted 360 unseated children throughout each 20-minute period. They also noted that the teacher said “Sit down!” seven times during the same period.
The psychologists tried an experiment. They asked the teacher to tell the children to sit down more often. Then they sat back to see what would happen. This time they noted that she commanded her students to sit down 27.5 times in an average 20-minute period, and now 540 were noted to be out of their seats during the same average period. Her increased scolding actually made the problem worse.
Then the experimenters tried a different tack. They asked the teacher to refrain from commanding the children to sit down altogether, and to instead quietly compliment those children who were seated and working. The result? Children’s roaming decreased by 33%. They exhibited their best behavior when they were encouraged more and reprimanded less. There is immense power in affirming others. Leaders who get results know this. People who draw others to themselves and who motivate others to great action are almost always those who encourage more than criticize; who compliment more and reprimand less. What method do you use?
—Email:bobsbanter@gmail.com
This morning a doctor friend of mine told me about his ‘other parent’, the one who was not strict, “She used to send me notes in my lunch box while I was in medical college!” he said, “She wasn’t very educated, but those little notes were a source of great encouragement, egging me on to do well!”Yes, there’s two ways of pushing people, one is being strict and the other to encourage and build: I’m a strong believer in the power of affirming other people. One time I facetiously told an audience that I have never in my life received a standing ovation. They gave me one — and I’m here to tell you it isn’t nearly so satisfying when you have to ask for it. Nevertheless, I never underestimate the importance of positive encouragement in a life.A second-grade teacher complained that her children were spending too much time standing up and roaming around the room rather than working. Two psychologists spent several days at the back of the room with stopwatches observing the behavior of the children and the teacher. Every ten seconds they noted how many children were out of their seats. They counted 360 unseated children throughout each 20-minute period. They also noted that the teacher said “Sit down!” seven times during the same period.
The psychologists tried an experiment. They asked the teacher to tell the children to sit down more often. Then they sat back to see what would happen. This time they noted that she commanded her students to sit down 27.5 times in an average 20-minute period, and now 540 were noted to be out of their seats during the same average period. Her increased scolding actually made the problem worse.
Then the experimenters tried a different tack. They asked the teacher to refrain from commanding the children to sit down altogether, and to instead quietly compliment those children who were seated and working. The result? Children’s roaming decreased by 33%. They exhibited their best behavior when they were encouraged more and reprimanded less. There is immense power in affirming others. Leaders who get results know this. People who draw others to themselves and who motivate others to great action are almost always those who encourage more than criticize; who compliment more and reprimand less. What method do you use?
—Email:bobsbanter@gmail.com
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