Love at first sip…!
“Enjoying me?” asked the bottle sensuously. “You swine!” said the man, frothing round the mouth. “Now, now,” said the bottle, “ Don’t make a pig of yourself. Is that any way to talk to your only friend.” “You, … you made all my friends desert me,” whispered the man. “Possessive, I am huh?” “You seduced me,” shouted the man as he tilted the bottle and swallowed the fire within. “You were waiting to ravish me.” “I just wanted one sip, that’s all…”
“I am nobody’s one night stand,” said the bottle proudly. “Once I have been tasted, I become a life time lover!” “I hate you.” “You know you love me. You enjoy every evening with me, the mornings, afternoons, why you need me from dawn to dusk” “I hate you.” “Because you cannot do anymore without me. I control you. You are my slave, my servant, my vassal. For life!” “Noooo…” “Try, try to live a day without me. You’ve tried haven’t you? Promises to your mother before she died in poverty, your wife before she deserted you, your children before they starved to death.”
“Hic, hic, burp, hic, hic…” “Easy my boy, easy, we have the whole evening ahead, and the night and the morning. I love you, but I don’t want to spend daylight in the gutter. Night in the filth and slush is good enough, but daytime in the same slime is oh such a waste of good drinking time…!” “I am dying, my liver is no more.” “Oh you poor man, here, let me caress you, love you. Here, feel my warmth, let me nuzzle down your throat.” “I curse the day I met you” “Such words.. such temper! After all I’ve done for you. I was there when you were fired from your job. I gave you comfort at your children’s funerals. I consoled you when your wife tried to make extra money, sleeping with her boss. I brought you solace, gave you support, soothed your ego and cheered you on to the next bar and the next bottle and the next sip..”
“I will smash you, you treacherous traitor. Look what I can do to you. You will lie broken. A thousand pieces of glass!” “Your trembling hand can hardly lift me up. Not out of lack of strength but will. You are my slave, my lover, see how I kiss and fondle, touch and stroke you my darling. I love you and will be with you till death do us part. Ah my love, my dearest, my cherished one, I have tentacled myself into your very soul. It was love at first sip, my beloved…!