Small car sales..!

Monday, December 13, 2010 - The world’s smallest car, isn’t selling too well in India, especially after a couple of them caught fire, and after meeting car salesmen, these are some of the ideas they have given for increased sales: “All these small car owners should live next to a fire station or at least a fire hydrant, that way, as soon as their car catches fire, the firemen can come in a jiffy and put the flames out!” said a car salesman as he looked at the used cars in his yard. “I would suggest, “ said his assistant, “that the manufacturers have a tie up with firemen throughout India, that they can purchase these cars cheaply!” “In fact,” said the first used car salesman expanding on the subject, “there’s a trailer that I would like you to have a look at!” “What trailer?” I asked. “It’s a water tank on wheels!” “It’s a very good idea!” said his assistant. “With a water tank attached to the small car, the owner doesn’t have to worry about water to put out the fire!” “He could also use the water to wash the car,” I said helpfully. “No, No, Not with this car, one should have the trailer ready with a tank full of water at all times, let it not be said by an owner, that my small car got burnt because there was no water in my tank!”

I looked at the two wise car salesmen and wrote down their points, “Anything else?” I asked, “Other than the fire angle?” “People always look at this car as a one lakh car!” said the used car salesman, “And their neighbours look down on them. “So what do you suggest?” I asked. “Put a sticker on each car, saying, ‘when I grow up, I will be a big car!” “Fantastic!” said his assistant. “Brilliant!” I said, “Then people will immediately know that it is still in its infant stage!” “And that in five years it may become an Ambassador!” “Or a Mercedes,” said his assistant as his boss patted him on the shoulder. I looked at the two used car salesmen as they looked at each other then looked at me, “Would you like to buy a second hand one?” “Or two?” asked his assistant. “We have a scheme,” said his boss, “Take twenty for the price of a new one!” “You mean you have twenty small cars in your used car lot?” I asked. “Yes,” said both the car salesmen together gloomily, “And even the auto-rickshawallahs won’t buy them!” “So what are you going to do?” I asked. “Sell them as scrap,” said the boss, “We’re saying tata to the small car..!”

—Email:bobsbanter@gmail.com.