Giving the right way..!
Views From Abroad
Robert Clements
Monday, November 01, 2010 - “..When you help someone in need, give it before he asks for it; for if you place him under the necessity of stretching out his hand, you take away from him his self-respect which is worth more than the value of your alms…” Imam Ali (A.S.).
Many years ago, I had helped an uncle and aunt of mine financially, but found that their attitude to me quite often was one of ingratitude. I was a bit surprised and asked my dad who was alive at that time why it was so, “Bob,” he’d said, “When you give don’t make the other person know you are giving, don’t destroy his dignity!” I realized then that giving has to be done the right way and we need to learn how. The first question that comes to our mind is how much should we give? One recalls the famous incident from history when Rana Pratap was reeling after a defeat from the Moguls. He had lost his army, he had lost his wealth, and most important he had lost hope and his will to fight. At that time in his darkest hour, his erstwhile minister Bhamasha came seeking him and placed his entire fortune at the disposal of Rana Pratap. With this, Rana Pratap raised an army and lived to fight another day. So the answer is to give off your all, give all you can! What can we give? It is not only money that can be given. It could be a flower or even a smile. When you give a smile to a stranger that may be the only good thing received by him in days and weeks! Give anything but give with your heart!
Whom do we give to? Many times we avoid giving by finding fault with the person who is seeking. However, being judgmental and rejecting a person on the presumption that he may not be the most deserving is not justified, so give without being judgmental!
Next is, how do we give? Do we give like our great film stars with their PR agencies taking pictures, and next day huge articles in all the papers about how one Khan or the other was at the cancer hospital? Remember those words from the Holy Scriptures: ‘Let not your left hand know what your right hand gives!’ Because charity without publicity and fanfare is the highest form of charity! So give quietly! Coming to the manner of giving; I think about what my dad told me; that one has to ensure the receiver does not feel humiliated, nor does the giver feel proud by giving. After all what we give never really belonged to us. We come to this world with nothing and will go with nothing. The thing gifted was only with us for a temporary period. Why then take pride in giving away what really did not belong to us?
Give with grace and with a feeling of gratitude. I would conclude by quoting Sant Kabir: “When wealth in your house increases or water fills a boat, throw them out with both hands..!”—Email: bobsbanter@gmail.com
Many years ago, I had helped an uncle and aunt of mine financially, but found that their attitude to me quite often was one of ingratitude. I was a bit surprised and asked my dad who was alive at that time why it was so, “Bob,” he’d said, “When you give don’t make the other person know you are giving, don’t destroy his dignity!” I realized then that giving has to be done the right way and we need to learn how. The first question that comes to our mind is how much should we give? One recalls the famous incident from history when Rana Pratap was reeling after a defeat from the Moguls. He had lost his army, he had lost his wealth, and most important he had lost hope and his will to fight. At that time in his darkest hour, his erstwhile minister Bhamasha came seeking him and placed his entire fortune at the disposal of Rana Pratap. With this, Rana Pratap raised an army and lived to fight another day. So the answer is to give off your all, give all you can! What can we give? It is not only money that can be given. It could be a flower or even a smile. When you give a smile to a stranger that may be the only good thing received by him in days and weeks! Give anything but give with your heart!
Whom do we give to? Many times we avoid giving by finding fault with the person who is seeking. However, being judgmental and rejecting a person on the presumption that he may not be the most deserving is not justified, so give without being judgmental!
Next is, how do we give? Do we give like our great film stars with their PR agencies taking pictures, and next day huge articles in all the papers about how one Khan or the other was at the cancer hospital? Remember those words from the Holy Scriptures: ‘Let not your left hand know what your right hand gives!’ Because charity without publicity and fanfare is the highest form of charity! So give quietly! Coming to the manner of giving; I think about what my dad told me; that one has to ensure the receiver does not feel humiliated, nor does the giver feel proud by giving. After all what we give never really belonged to us. We come to this world with nothing and will go with nothing. The thing gifted was only with us for a temporary period. Why then take pride in giving away what really did not belong to us?
Give with grace and with a feeling of gratitude. I would conclude by quoting Sant Kabir: “When wealth in your house increases or water fills a boat, throw them out with both hands..!”—Email: bobsbanter@gmail.com
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