We need a good monsoon..!

Friday, June 11, 2010 - This is absolutely, unquestionably, undoubtedly ridiculous! boomed a dark cloud right over me, “Year after year I come into the country with drama and flourish, drench thousands, flood the homes of millions, create potholes, cause traffic jams, make life miserable for everybody and what do you say?” “What?” I asked. “That I am not the monsoon!” roared the black cloud over me with a thunderclap and lightening splash. “Hey that was horrible!” I said closing my ears. “Tell that to your weatherman!” said the cloud.

“Why don’t you?” I asked. “I did it last year!” said the black cloud. “I sent him a bad monsoon! I heard him shouting to all and sundry that the monsoons had arrived, the monsoons had arrived, and what did I do?” “You didn’t arrive?” I asked.

“No I just ignored him!” “How did you do that?” “I arrived and did not arrive! I came in droves, sent black clouds across the country, made thunderous noises, saw the weatherman jumping with glee that his predictions were true and then I proved him wrong! I did not rain! Ha, ha, ha!” “That was very cruel of you!” I said. “Well I don’t like being ignored! We monsoons have a big ego and when a lowly weatherman with only a weathercock for an instrument tries to say that I am not there when I am right over his head, it hurts!” said the dark cloud sending a tear as a raindrop onto my head. “But it hurt the country more!” I said.

“So change your weathermen!” “Why don’t you just ignore what he says?” “Ignore what he says?” asked the monsoon, “Ignore a man who after I’ve sent your lake levels up a bit especially after the draught you’ve had, turns to me and says, you are not the monsoon! It’s humiliating!” “But please don’t give us a bad monsoon like you did last year!” I said. “As long as the weatherman doesn’t insult me, I won’t!” I looked at the newspaper and saw what the weatherman had just said. “Hey weatherman!” I said, “Why don’t you just shut up?” “This is the only time people listen and ask my advice,” said the weatherman helplessly, “So I have to say something opposite and contradictory, otherwise I won’t be noticed at all! No! That’s not a monsoon cloud in the sky, and that’s not rain that’s falling on the ground, it’s just a pre- …” “Shut up Mr Weatherman!” whispered the nation as they taped the weatherman’s mouth shut. “We need a good monsoon this year..!”

—Email: bobsbanter@gmail.com