A free country..!
Views From Abroad
Robert Clements
Monday, April 26, 2010 - I’ve just discovered that I’m paying exorbitant electricity bills whereas the farmer is getting away with it free so I decided I’d do something about it: “Whatcha doin’?” asked the wife as she watched me lugging huge flowerpots into the sitting room. “Starting a farm.” “In our sitting room?” “Where else?” I asked as I placed a huge pot next to the piano. “But why a farm here?” “Free electricity,” I said. “We won’t have to pay for the sitting room current?” “They’re giving free electricity for farmers, see it says so in the papers.” “Lets put some plants some trees and plants in the bedroom and kitchen and bathrooms,” said the wife. “Sure,” I said, “I like your enthusiasm. We’re really getting into farming aren’t we?”
“Can I tell our neighbours?” she asked. “Why not?” I said, “Let’s all become farmers!” We don’t need to put off the TV or geyser or our lights anymore,” she said. “If it’s free who’s bothered.” “We can do away with the switches, we don’t need to switch off the electricity anymore!” I said. “We can go in for an electric car,” said the wife. “And air-conditioners in all the rooms, including bathrooms and the dog’s kennel,” I said. I watched as my neighbours all became farmers.
“You think the government will agree we are entitled to free electricity?” asked the worried wife. “Just tie a rope round the fan,” I told her. “Now phone the government and say I threaten suicide. Call the press and TV” “Why are you attempting suicide?” asked the first reporter “I can’t pay the electric bill,” I said sadly as I tied and untied the rope round my neck. “What about your family?” asked a TV journalist. “I hope the government will compensate them,” I said. “What will we do without you?” screamed my wife loudly. “Face the camera,” I whispered in her ears, “and peel onions for some tears.” “Any last words?” asked the reporter. “Free electricity! “ I croaked. “The government has announced free electricity for us!” shouted the wife running from the phone to me. I untied myself from under the fan and waved at my neighbours, waved at the reporters and waved at the TV crew. And that’s the formula folks, become a farmer, threaten suicide and you’ll get everything free in this country..!
“Can I tell our neighbours?” she asked. “Why not?” I said, “Let’s all become farmers!” We don’t need to put off the TV or geyser or our lights anymore,” she said. “If it’s free who’s bothered.” “We can do away with the switches, we don’t need to switch off the electricity anymore!” I said. “We can go in for an electric car,” said the wife. “And air-conditioners in all the rooms, including bathrooms and the dog’s kennel,” I said. I watched as my neighbours all became farmers.
“You think the government will agree we are entitled to free electricity?” asked the worried wife. “Just tie a rope round the fan,” I told her. “Now phone the government and say I threaten suicide. Call the press and TV” “Why are you attempting suicide?” asked the first reporter “I can’t pay the electric bill,” I said sadly as I tied and untied the rope round my neck. “What about your family?” asked a TV journalist. “I hope the government will compensate them,” I said. “What will we do without you?” screamed my wife loudly. “Face the camera,” I whispered in her ears, “and peel onions for some tears.” “Any last words?” asked the reporter. “Free electricity! “ I croaked. “The government has announced free electricity for us!” shouted the wife running from the phone to me. I untied myself from under the fan and waved at my neighbours, waved at the reporters and waved at the TV crew. And that’s the formula folks, become a farmer, threaten suicide and you’ll get everything free in this country..!
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