Guarding her statues & elephants..!
Views From Abroad
Robert Clements
Friday, April 16, 2010 - With Mayawati deciding to raise a special task force to guard statues of herself and her elephants, many of her advisors wondered whether such bold ordinance would have a run in with the centre:
“Why should the centre object to me guarding my statues and my elephants?” screamed the flamboyant chief minister, “You think my statues are not worth guarding huh?” “No Chief Minister, your statues should have at least a hundred soldiers, NSF and Black Cats guarding them!” “Only hundred?” “A hundred on each side of every statue Chief Ministerjee!” “Good, then what is the problem?”
“Will the Governor and Centre allow it Madamjee?” “Why not?” “They may say security is needed to flush out militants, fight terrorists, and strike at the Naxalites, not guard statues!” The Chief Minister pondered over this for a while then looked at her advisors who were all looking down fearfully at their feet.
“I have an idea!” “Of course Chief Minister, we knew you would have one!” “It is a brilliant idea!” “All your ideas are brilliant Chief Ministerjee!” “Instead of raising a new security force to guard my statues and the elephant statues, I am going to pass another ordinance!”
“An ordinance! An ordinance!” shouted the advisors of the chief minister as they looked up from their feet and threw their hands into the air, “An ordinance! An ordinance!” “You like my ordinances no?” asked the chief minister as she looked at her advisors happily.
“Chief Ministerjee with your ordinances we will be the first state which doesn’t need a legislative house or council to pass anything, with your ordinance we can do away with them!” “Good idea!” said the Chief Minister, “That is why I have made you my advisors, you advise me well!” “Thank you Chief Ministerjee! What is the ordinance Madamjee?” “I ordain,” shouted Queen Mayawati, in her most empirical voice, “That all Naxalites, all terrorists and all militants in this country be ordered to gather in the parks of Uttar Pradesh where we have kept our statues and our elephants!”
“Hooray!” shouted the advisors. “Thus all security forces will have to guard my parks!” In Delhi the PM looked at the latest ordinance, “How will our security forces distinguish between the terrorists and her statues?” he pondered, but kept such thoughts to himself as he transferred all the troops to guard the parks of UP.
“Why should the centre object to me guarding my statues and my elephants?” screamed the flamboyant chief minister, “You think my statues are not worth guarding huh?” “No Chief Minister, your statues should have at least a hundred soldiers, NSF and Black Cats guarding them!” “Only hundred?” “A hundred on each side of every statue Chief Ministerjee!” “Good, then what is the problem?”
“Will the Governor and Centre allow it Madamjee?” “Why not?” “They may say security is needed to flush out militants, fight terrorists, and strike at the Naxalites, not guard statues!” The Chief Minister pondered over this for a while then looked at her advisors who were all looking down fearfully at their feet.
“I have an idea!” “Of course Chief Minister, we knew you would have one!” “It is a brilliant idea!” “All your ideas are brilliant Chief Ministerjee!” “Instead of raising a new security force to guard my statues and the elephant statues, I am going to pass another ordinance!”
“An ordinance! An ordinance!” shouted the advisors of the chief minister as they looked up from their feet and threw their hands into the air, “An ordinance! An ordinance!” “You like my ordinances no?” asked the chief minister as she looked at her advisors happily.
“Chief Ministerjee with your ordinances we will be the first state which doesn’t need a legislative house or council to pass anything, with your ordinance we can do away with them!” “Good idea!” said the Chief Minister, “That is why I have made you my advisors, you advise me well!” “Thank you Chief Ministerjee! What is the ordinance Madamjee?” “I ordain,” shouted Queen Mayawati, in her most empirical voice, “That all Naxalites, all terrorists and all militants in this country be ordered to gather in the parks of Uttar Pradesh where we have kept our statues and our elephants!”
“Hooray!” shouted the advisors. “Thus all security forces will have to guard my parks!” In Delhi the PM looked at the latest ordinance, “How will our security forces distinguish between the terrorists and her statues?” he pondered, but kept such thoughts to himself as he transferred all the troops to guard the parks of UP.
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