Deserted by his friend..!
Robert Clements
Friday, January 06, 2012 - This morning most of the mobile phones in my area stopped working. People gave different reasons, even blaming Hazare or the government for the disaster. Because disaster it was for many people. The cell phone has become man’s best friend. Unlike these other so called companions, the cell phone doesn’t have to continually be given attention, but quietly and reassuringly nestles in palms, nuzzles clandestinely in pockets or comfortingly caresses the ear, giving the bearer a wonderful sense of security and belonging. “I am confident my cellmate will never ever leave me and run off with another man,” cried a dumped dude as he glanced adoringly at his sleek and curvy mobile which dressed in a passionate red looked loyally back at him.
“I know that I need never feel shy again,” SMS’d a computer programmer to me as he lovingly peered at his phone. “It used to be terrible before, when I left the sanctuary of my computer kingdom and ventured into the cruel talking, jabbering, babbling world of articulate human beings outside, but now with my beloved constantly by my side, I can continue to chat and message and communicate with everyone without uttering a word..!”
The middle aged businessman in the hospital was even more expressive and articulate in his feelings. “What pleasure it was holding my little friend and driving. Very possessive little fellow he is okay! No allowing me to look for pothole, no honking at pedestrians, no stopping for red lights . Arrey what relief not to concentrate on stupid driver in front or rascal behind. Driving with a friend, what pleasure man,, really such pleasure, and the miles just go by. Even now in hospital, he is somewhere near me all the time. Only thing, with eye bandages I cannot see my little friend I can only hear mischievous beep. Doctor saying my friend will follow to my grave! Arrey what a friand yah.!
I passed a car in which the husband was busy yelling into his cell, but noticed that his wife was looking down at her lap with a serene smile. “Its on vibrator mode,” she whispered, “ and every time he rings me, I feel tingly all over and my husband doesn’t even know, he’s so busy with his friend and my friend is so busy with me. Oh I have goose pimples all over, oooh..!”
Knowing that mobile phones were now coming with a hundred new accessories I wandered over to a phone shop and was greeted by a pleasant looking sales girl. “You look a little lost and oh so lonely,” she said in a husky voice, “and we have just the phone for you. How do you like her?” I looked at the instrument a little puzzled. “Ah she’s already taken a liking for you,” she said as the strains of Love Story burst from her mobile lips. I shook my head. “Have a look at this sir, it takes pictures..!” she winked, “You know what I mean? Your girlfriend’s secret mole, or if you’re gay, your boyfriends third nipple. Look at it later on. Send it to your friends. Be the envy of the town..!”
I shook my head and wondered how my girl friends nasty mole or boyfriends third nipple would make me the toast of the town. “What about this?” she asked. “Its a friendly piece.” I picked up the rather ordinary looking cell and immediately felt a warm feeling spreading over me. “Its got a deliberately short circuited battery sir, and when you miss the warmth of companionship, switch this one on and it’ll do the trick..!” And like I said this morning it wasn’t just the cell phone not working, it was man’s new best friend deserting him.
—Email:bobsbanter@gmail.com
“I know that I need never feel shy again,” SMS’d a computer programmer to me as he lovingly peered at his phone. “It used to be terrible before, when I left the sanctuary of my computer kingdom and ventured into the cruel talking, jabbering, babbling world of articulate human beings outside, but now with my beloved constantly by my side, I can continue to chat and message and communicate with everyone without uttering a word..!”
The middle aged businessman in the hospital was even more expressive and articulate in his feelings. “What pleasure it was holding my little friend and driving. Very possessive little fellow he is okay! No allowing me to look for pothole, no honking at pedestrians, no stopping for red lights . Arrey what relief not to concentrate on stupid driver in front or rascal behind. Driving with a friend, what pleasure man,, really such pleasure, and the miles just go by. Even now in hospital, he is somewhere near me all the time. Only thing, with eye bandages I cannot see my little friend I can only hear mischievous beep. Doctor saying my friend will follow to my grave! Arrey what a friand yah.!
I passed a car in which the husband was busy yelling into his cell, but noticed that his wife was looking down at her lap with a serene smile. “Its on vibrator mode,” she whispered, “ and every time he rings me, I feel tingly all over and my husband doesn’t even know, he’s so busy with his friend and my friend is so busy with me. Oh I have goose pimples all over, oooh..!”
Knowing that mobile phones were now coming with a hundred new accessories I wandered over to a phone shop and was greeted by a pleasant looking sales girl. “You look a little lost and oh so lonely,” she said in a husky voice, “and we have just the phone for you. How do you like her?” I looked at the instrument a little puzzled. “Ah she’s already taken a liking for you,” she said as the strains of Love Story burst from her mobile lips. I shook my head. “Have a look at this sir, it takes pictures..!” she winked, “You know what I mean? Your girlfriend’s secret mole, or if you’re gay, your boyfriends third nipple. Look at it later on. Send it to your friends. Be the envy of the town..!”
I shook my head and wondered how my girl friends nasty mole or boyfriends third nipple would make me the toast of the town. “What about this?” she asked. “Its a friendly piece.” I picked up the rather ordinary looking cell and immediately felt a warm feeling spreading over me. “Its got a deliberately short circuited battery sir, and when you miss the warmth of companionship, switch this one on and it’ll do the trick..!” And like I said this morning it wasn’t just the cell phone not working, it was man’s new best friend deserting him.
—Email:bobsbanter@gmail.com
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