Only in India..!
Robert Clements
Sunday, October 30, 2011 - India goes to England, gets thrashed, England comes to India, gets thrashed, in exactly the same way. What does it mean? Two countries are confused, India and England, “Who are the champions?” I decided to find out.
Since the best cricketers travel in the first class compartments of the Mumbai local trains, I decided I would also travel from Andheri to Churchgate and find out, “Sir,” I asked a passenger who was gently standing on both my feet, callously squeezing my toes without a second thought, “Sir?”
“Yes, yes, you want to get down? When you want to get down, you tell me, then I will step off your toes. Before that don’t tell me anything!” “No sir, I am honoured you like standing on my toes, I am about to ask another question, why do you think India won against England?” “Because we world champs idiot!” said the passenger as he pressed harder on my toes, for asking what to him was an irrelevant question.
“But they lost in England!” “Of course!” “Why of course sir?” “Because who wants to win in England? You go to England to see England right? You go to see the English lasses, the English Queen, and feel the English weather, only an idiot would go to England to play cricket!” “You mean their aim was never to win?”
“Arrey man, “said the first class passenger in the local train, as he pressed my toes and made me wince, “Our ministers, why they go to England? They go to see English lasses, the English Queen and..” “Feel the English weather,” I completed for him. “Yes, yes, you must travel everyday with me, you learn very fast. So if Ministerjee go to England to do all that, then cricket team, hockey team, Olympic team, will also go to do all that!”
“And what about the English, you think, they also are doing that in India, that is why they are losing?” “You are very unpatriotic man,” said the passenger as he scowled at me and I felt the other passengers scowling too. The Indian team is winning in India, because they are superior team. You thinking they are not superior?” “No sir,” said as his feet pressed even more tightly on to my toes, “No sir, I do not think they are inferior!” “We are the World Champs,” said the passenger as he got down from my toes, “We are the world champs!” “Only in India..!” I whispered as I jumped off the train.
—Email:bobsbanter@gmail.com
Since the best cricketers travel in the first class compartments of the Mumbai local trains, I decided I would also travel from Andheri to Churchgate and find out, “Sir,” I asked a passenger who was gently standing on both my feet, callously squeezing my toes without a second thought, “Sir?”
“Yes, yes, you want to get down? When you want to get down, you tell me, then I will step off your toes. Before that don’t tell me anything!” “No sir, I am honoured you like standing on my toes, I am about to ask another question, why do you think India won against England?” “Because we world champs idiot!” said the passenger as he pressed harder on my toes, for asking what to him was an irrelevant question.
“But they lost in England!” “Of course!” “Why of course sir?” “Because who wants to win in England? You go to England to see England right? You go to see the English lasses, the English Queen, and feel the English weather, only an idiot would go to England to play cricket!” “You mean their aim was never to win?”
“Arrey man, “said the first class passenger in the local train, as he pressed my toes and made me wince, “Our ministers, why they go to England? They go to see English lasses, the English Queen and..” “Feel the English weather,” I completed for him. “Yes, yes, you must travel everyday with me, you learn very fast. So if Ministerjee go to England to do all that, then cricket team, hockey team, Olympic team, will also go to do all that!”
“And what about the English, you think, they also are doing that in India, that is why they are losing?” “You are very unpatriotic man,” said the passenger as he scowled at me and I felt the other passengers scowling too. The Indian team is winning in India, because they are superior team. You thinking they are not superior?” “No sir,” said as his feet pressed even more tightly on to my toes, “No sir, I do not think they are inferior!” “We are the World Champs,” said the passenger as he got down from my toes, “We are the world champs!” “Only in India..!” I whispered as I jumped off the train.
—Email:bobsbanter@gmail.com
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