Beef ban, beer, and bullying..!


AS beef and beer get scarce in India, bullying seems to be replacing the culinary delights of eating and drinking. “We were worried when cow slaughter was banned,” remarked a villager, “Added to that, courts decided to make beer scarce, so the only pastime left was bullying!”
“And what a wonderful recreation it is!” agreed a city resident, “If I’d known it was such fun, I’d have given up beer and beef a long time ago!”
They both watched as their leader, a local ruffian swaggered over, “Today is Sunday!” he said. “So no bullying today?” they both asked looking mournful, “We don’t want any holidays from bullying, that’s the only way, I can handle the craving in my belly and the cries of my liver!”
“I never said it’s a holiday!” smiled their local leader, “Today we scare church goers in their churches!” “Hurray!” cried the two and gathering a gang rushed into a local church, tore their religious books and looked the priest in the face, “You are converting our people!” they both shouted.
“These are our regular worshippers!” said the worried priest, “We are not doing any conversion!” With a war cry, they turned over the pews, pinned the people against the wall, tore the clothes off the women, smashed a few sacred items and then ran out triumphant.
“That was good fun!” shouted the villager. “I didn’t even feel the need for a sip of beer!” “Or me, beef!” said the villager, “Hey look, why is that boy standing alone?” They both looked at a young lad talking on his phone, standing in the shade while he spoke. “When a boy stands alone, he is an eve teaser!” shouted the resident. “Eve teasers are a menace to society, that’s what the chief minister said!”
The boy speaking on the phone suddenly found himself thrown to the ground. He screamed, and his mother who he was speaking to on the other end, shouted his name, but her words went unheard as his phone fell on the ground and was trampled on roughly by the two. “Never tease our women!” they cried as they beat him up and left him a crumpled mess.
It was evening when the two sauntered back together, “We are helping improve our country, after the beef and beer ban!” they said to one another. “That’s true!” said the city resident. “I feel pure and holy today!”
“Join me for dinner!” winked his friend the villager. “I might be able to serve you something you may relish! My wife has been able to lay hands on some smuggled beef!” “Excellent!” shouted the city man, “And I’ve got some home crafted beer with me!
Let’s celebrate this ban together!” And the virtuous two walked piously towards their celebration dinner..!
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