Indians in takeovers..!
Robert Clements
Now that Indians like the Tata’s and Mittal’s are buying companies left
right and centre all over the world, Mr Kapoor my neighbor who I meet
everyday in the bus stop on my way to work looked at me with excitement,
“We Indians are taking over the world!” he shouted, “I’m on my way to
the bank to get a loan to take over Microsoft!”
“Bill Gates must be quaking in his shoes!” I said. “You bet,” he said,
“once Bill hears an Indian is on a takeover bid, he won’t sleep tonight
or the next couple of nights, in fact he might never sleep again! Ha,
ha, ha!”
“How do you plan to get so much money?” I asked looking at his
bedraggled clothes. “I told you I’m going to the bank!” he said.
“And which Indian bank would give you a loan to take over Microsoft?”
“Not Indian..” he whispered.
“Not Indian?” I whispered back. “Foreign!” he whispered. “Foreign bank
will give you a loan?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said, “would you like to come with me?” “Sure!” I said and
jumped into a bus going to the city. “Will you buy my ticket?” asked Mr
Kapoor, “I will pay you back as soon as I get my first billion!”
I bought Mr Kapoor his bus ticket and watched as he pocketed the change
from the conductor, “I will pay you back…”
“After your first billion!” I reminded him and Mr Kapoor nodded
gratefully. We got off the bus and strolled to the huge American bank
that occupied the whole street.
“Don’t you think you should brush your hair?” I asked. “And look less
Indian?” Mr Kapoor asked.
The doorman an Indian looked at both of us suspiciously but was pushed
aside the next moment by foreign officials from the bank who rushed out
to hold our hands.
“You are Mr Kapoor?” “No,” I said, “he is!” “Come in, come in,” said the
officials, “I am Vice President John and this here is James who will
disburse your loan. How much do you want Mr Kapoor?”
“Enough to take over Microsoft!” said Mr Kapoor. “Would you like it in
cash or check?”
“That depends entirely on how Bill would like to have it,” smiled Mr
Kapoor as he went in and signed all the documents, after which we walked
out.
“May I borrow ten rupees for lunch?” asked Mr Kapoor as we hit the road,
“I will return it, when…”
“I know, I know,” I said, “tell me how did you know you would get the
loan from this bank?”
“A tellecaller, called, she said the bank was giving loans only to
Indians for takeover bids! By the way could you help me? I have to send
an email to Bill that I’m taking over Microsoft and I don’t know how to
operate a computer..!”
Email: bobsbanter@gmail.com |
